I can’t sleep so thought I would post an excerpt from a letter I wrote my friend, who needed comic relief while in prison (more on him and prison another blog). This happened in November 2005.
Cleo, my cat, is more like a dog, and because of this I have been wanting to take her for a car ride – just something quick while I ran an errand. She was waiting at the patio door to come in as I was leaving. I decided today was the day. I scooped her up and took her to the car. I was only going a couple miles down the road. I was only going to be gone for about fifteen minutes. Once we had been on the road for a few minutes she wandered around the car and then started to howl and cry. I tried to talk to her to console her. I was out of the car a few minutes with my errand and then we were headed for home. I told her that her mommy learned a lesson, we wouldn’t take her in the car again. She wandered around then settled down on my lap. Drop. What the ? Um, yeah, what is that foul smell? Well, the unthinkable had happened – she pooped on me! I reached behind me and grabbed for a Kleenex and put that under her butt! Then she was done. Gee thanks. So, I gathered up the little turds and left the pile of kleenex on my lap and threw her over to the passenger seat. I was like oh my gosh, this is why you were howling and no wonder cause I didnt let her come in and use her litterbox, I just grabbed her and off we went! CRIMES! So, I was rolling down the windows to get rid of the smell and talking to her and saying at least she didnt pee on me and good thing we are almost home, etc etc. We had a mile to go. Well, she made her way over to my lap again and Im like okay, sweetie we are almost home then what is this warmth? OH MY GOSH she was totally peeing on me! I couldnt grab Kleenex fast enough though I shoved some on my pants and down my crotch and on the seat and ewwwwwwwwwwwww. Gnarly! Luckily we were a few blocks from the Babe Pad. She was still howling when hello, no need to howl anymore missy! I threw open the door and stood up and tried to dry the rest of the seat (leather, thank goodness!) and she hopped out. Once I stood up I FELT all the pee and it was so disgusting. I ran into the house, stripped down and hopped in the shower. I was just totally grossed out. Then I had to throw my clothes in the washer and go sanitize the car. IF there is ever a next time, I will make sure shes gone first – yes, she’s still alive! (rolls eyes). CRIMES!